What is it to be Human?

“CHI2008 – Bill Buxton on Being Human in a Digital Age” by mprove is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

Contents

Being human

Being human is messy, beautiful, painful, confusing, and deeply meaningful, and all at the same time. It means having a body that gets tired and breaks, a mind that thinks and worries, and a heart that feels joy, fear, love, shame, and everything in between. It means never being finished, always learning.

You are a body, a mind, and feelings

Being human means:

You have a body that needs food, water, air, sleep, movement, and safety. When those are not cared for, everything else becomes harder.
You have a mind that thinks, plans, imagines, overthinks, and sometimes lies to you to keep you safe.
You have feelings that rise and fall—happiness, sadness, anger, fear, shame, love, envy, tenderness. None of these are “wrong”; they are signals, even when they hurt.

A big part of being human is learning to listen to all three – body, mind, and feelings, and then let them work together instead of fighting all the time.

You have needs, and they are not a flaw

Every human needs:

Physical care (rest, food, safety)
Connection (to be seen, heard, and cared about)
Respect (not being treated as less than others)
Meaning (to feel life is about more than just surviving)

Needing these things does not make you weak; it makes you human. Problems grow when:

Needs are denied (“I shouldn’t need anyone”)
Needs are ignored (“It doesn’t matter how tired I am”)
Needs are shamed (“I’m pathetic for wanting love”)

Being human means saying: “My needs are real, and it’s okay for me to try to meet them in healthy, honest ways.”

You are shaped by your past, but not trapped by it

No one chooses their childhood, family, culture, or early experiences. Those early years shape:

How safe you feel in the world
How you see yourself (worthy / unworthy, lovable / unlovable)
How you cope (people-pleasing, masking, showi ng off, shutting down, getting angry, etc.)

Being human means:

Noticing, over time, “Oh, that’s why I do that,” instead of just blaming yourself.
Understanding that many of your habits started as ways to survive, not as personal failures.
Knowing that, while you didn’t choose your start, you can gently choose new ways to respond now.

You are not a fixed thing. You are a work in progress.

You wear masks—and can slowly take them off

Most humans wear “masks”: versions of themselves they show to stay safe or liked.

The strong one.
The funny one.
The quiet one.
The perfect one.

Masking is often learned after hurt: “If I show the real me, I’ll be rejected, so I’ll show this safer version instead.” Being human means:

Accepting that you did need the mask once.
Gradually finding spaces and people where you can be more honest and relaxed.
Learning that your real self; flawed, awkward, tender, and is not as unlovable as you were taught to believe.

You make mistakes, and that’s part of it

Every human:

Says things they regret.
Hurts people they care about.
Fails, forgets, panics, avoids, and overreacts.

Being human is not about never messing up. It’s about:

Admitting when you are wrong.
Trying to understand why you did what you did.
Making amends where you can.
Letting yourself learn instead of living in endless shame.

You are allowed to be both responsible and kind to yourself.

You need both others and yourself

Humans are social. You are not meant to do life totally alone:

You need others to learn, heal, and feel less crazy.
You also need yourself – your own care, your own honesty, your own protection.

Being human is a balance:

Leaning on others without disappearing into them.
Supporting others without destroying yourself.
Letting relationships be mutual, not all give or all take.

You search for meaning

Most humans, sooner or later, ask:

“Why am I here?”
“What kind of person do I want to be?”
“What makes life worth living for me?”

There is no single correct answer. Meaning can come from:

Caring for others
Creating and making things
Learning and understanding
Faith or spirituality
Beauty, nature, art
Simply being present and kind in everyday life

Being human is often about building your own answer, piece by piece, instead of waiting for a perfect one to appear.

How to be human a bit more kindly

You do not need a grand plan. You can start small:

Notice yourself: “How do I feel right now? What do I need?”
Care for your body: Eat, drink, rest, move a little.
Care for your mind: Take breaks, question harsh thoughts, allow quiet.
Care for your heart: Be honest about your feelings with yourself; share them with at least one safe person if you can.
Care for your truth: Say one small true thing each day, even if it’s just in a journal.

In plain terms: Being human means you are never finished, never perfect, never fully in control – and you don’t have to be. You are allowed to learn, to fall, to try again, to care, to change, to rest, and to be real. If you can treat yourself the way you would treat a tired, confused, kind-hearted friend, you are already doing one of the most important parts of being human.