What is Safety?

“Mountain Lion Safety” by ekai is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Contents

Safety

Safety is about reducing the chances of getting hurt or harmed – physically, emotionally, or financially – so you can live your life with less fear and more freedom. It is never about removing all risk (which is impossible), but about being aware, prepared, and sensible.

What safety really means

Safety means looking after yourself and others in a way that lowers the chance of accidents, crime, or serious problems. Good safety uses a mix of awareness, planning, and common sense, not constant worry or panic.

Three basic ideas

Awareness: Noticing what is going on around you and inside you (people, places, your own feelings and signals).
Boundaries: Knowing what is okay for you and what is not, and being willing to say “no” or walk away.
Planning: Thinking ahead just enough so you are not caught completely off guard (for example, having a way to get home, a charged phone, or a contact you trust).

Personal and emotional safety

Personal safety includes both the physical safety that your body needs, as well as your feelings. Emotional safety means being around people who respect you, listen to you, and do not threaten, bully, or control you; if someone regularly makes you feel scared, small, or trapped, something about that situation is not safe.

Everyday practical safety

In day-to-day life, safety often looks like simple habits:

Staying reasonably aware of your surroundings instead of being completely “zoned out”.
Trusting your instincts if a person, place, or situation feels “off,” and giving yourself permission to leave.
Letting someone you trust know where you are going and how to reach you, especially if you feel unsure.
Looking after basic needs — rest, food, medication — so you are not making choices while exhausted or unwell.

Digital and online safety

Safety now also includes how you use your phone, social media, and the internet. This means being careful with personal information, thinking before you share photos or details, being cautious with strangers online, and remembering that you can block, mute, or leave spaces that feel toxic or threatening. It also means being aware of the threat of online, and media enabled abuse.

Safety and control

Trying to be “100% safe” can slide into trying to control everything and everyone, which is stressful and impossible.

A more realistic aim is: “Do what is reasonable and within my control, and be ready to respond if something goes wrong,” for example by knowing who you can call, where you can go, and how to ask for help.

A simple safety check

When you are unsure if a situation is safe enough, you can ask yourself:

“Do I feel tense, trapped, or pressured?”
“If someone I cared about was here instead of me, would I want them to stay or leave?”
“If this gets worse, do I know what I would do and who I would contact?”

If your honest answers worry you, that is a sign to step back, reach out to someone you trust, or change the situation if you can.

Asking for Help

Many official “help” routes are inconsistent and often say no. Many of the services and charities that offer help, really, only help the very worst cases, and turn the majority of people, no less deserving of help, away.

Because of this, it is very important that you work to be able to stand on your own two feet, and take responsibility for your own safety and health, as a priority. This means:
Not letting your emotions or even your problem cause you to become upset or frustrated with the system processes and people trying to help you, within that organisation.
Being calmly assertive, when you need to be.
Collecting “evidence”, including peoples names and positions, who may make promises and then deny that, and try to use that to indicate that it was your mistake/error in thinking, etc.
Retaining sufficient independence to be able to pull away, if needed, and choose your own way.
Finding independent or alternative sources for help.
Taking active steps to raise your mental resilience and thinking power.
Understanding that some medication may take away that independence. Antipsychotics and SSRI medications, for example.