“Judge hammer” by ssalonso is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
A Guide to Judgment
Judgment is the way your mind makes sense of the world by deciding what something means. It’s how you form opinions, evaluate situations, and choose what you think is right, wrong, safe, unsafe, good, bad, helpful, or unhelpful.
Judgment is not always negative; it’s simply the mind’s habit of sorting and organising information.
You use judgment every time you decide whether to trust someone, buy something, take a job, walk down a street, or end a conversation. Without some form of judgment, you wouldn’t be able to navigate daily life.
Where does judgment come from?
Much of your judgment comes from automatic sources you didn’t choose, such as:
- early experiences
- cultural messages
- what you were taught was “normal” or “acceptable”
- personal fears or desires
- habits of comparing yourself to others
- old memories that still influence how you see things today
These influences shape the “default settings” that colour how you interpret people, situations, and yourself.
When does judgment become unhelpful?
Judgment turns unhelpful when it becomes:
- harsh (“I always fail.” “They’re useless.”)
- rigid (“There’s only one right way.”)
- automatic (reacting without thinking)
- self-focused in a damaging way (“I’m not good enough.”)
- other-focused in a limiting way (“They don’t fit my idea, so they’re wrong.”)
Unhelpful judgment often comes from fear, insecurity, or old protective strategies that no longer fit who you are now.
Can you change your judgment habits?
Yes — judgment softens when you slow down, get curious, and notice the story your mind is telling. You don’t have to “turn off” judgment; you just need to see it for what it is: a thought, not the truth.
Here are a few gentle reflection questions:
- What do I tend to judge quickly or strongly?
- Whose voice does that judgment sound like — mine, or someone from my past?
- What emotion sits underneath my judgment? Fear? Shame? Discomfort?
- If I paused and looked again, what else might be true?
What helps soften unhelpful judgment?
- Curiosity (“What else could this mean?”)
- Perspective (“Is this the full story?”)
- Self-kindness (“Would I speak this way to someone I love?”)
- Understanding (“What might they be feeling?”)
- Allowing differences (recognising not everyone thinks or acts the same way)
When judgment loosens, understanding grows – and so does flexibility, compassion, and confidence.
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