True-self

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True-self

One of the most elusive and fascinating concepts in psychology is the idea of the “true-self”. What does it mean to be authentic and aligned with one’s core values, beliefs, and desires? How can we discover and express our true-self in a world that often pressures us to conform and compromise? These are some of the questions that this article will explore, drawing from various sources of wisdom and research. We will examine the benefits of living authentically, the challenges and barriers that prevent us from doing so, and the practical steps that we can take to cultivate a deeper connection with our true-self.

What is true self?

True self is a term that refers to the authentic and original aspect of one’s personality, identity, and essence. It is the core of who we are, beyond the masks, roles, and expectations that we adopt in our interactions with others and ourselves. The true self is often contrasted with the false self, which is a construct that we create to cope with the demands and pressures of our environment. False self can be seen as a survival strategy that helps us fit in, avoid rejection, and gain approval from others.

The true self is not something that we can easily access or express. It is often hidden, suppressed, or distorted by our conditioning, trauma, and socialization. We may lose touch with our true self as we grow up and adapt to the world around us. However, true self is not lost or destroyed. It remains within us, waiting to be rediscovered and reclaimed.

One way to reconnect with our true self is to engage in self-exploration and reflection. We can ask ourselves questions such as: “What are my values?” “What are my passions?” “What are my strengths?” “What are my needs?” “What are my dreams?” We can also pay attention to our feelings, intuitions, and bodily sensations, which can provide clues to our true self. Another way to access our true self is to practice mindfulness and meditation, which can help us quiet our mind and tune in to our inner wisdom.

Expressing our true-self can be challenging and scary, especially if we fear being judged, criticized, or rejected by others. However, it can also be liberating and rewarding, as we align ourselves with our purpose and potential. When we live from our true-self, we experience more joy, fulfilment, and authenticity in our lives.

Why is the true-self so elusive?

This is a question that many people struggle with, especially in a world that constantly demands us to conform to external expectations and norms. The true-self is the essence of who we are, our unique personality, values, passions, and gifts. It is not something that we can easily define or measure, but rather something that we feel and express in our actions and choices. The true-self is often hidden or suppressed by layers of conditioning, fear, insecurity, and self-doubt. We may lose touch with our true self as we try to fit in, please others, or avoid conflict. We may also confuse our true self with our ego, which is the false self that we construct to protect ourselves from pain and rejection. The ego is based on identification with roles, labels, achievements, and possessions. It is driven by comparison, competition, and validation from others. The ego is not our true-self, but rather a mask that we wear to cope with the challenges of life.

Techniques for finding true-self

Finding and exploring our true self is a lifelong journey that can bring us more happiness, fulfilment, and authenticity. There are many techniques that can help us in this process, such as:

• Visualizing our ideal self and lifestyle. This can help us clarify our values, passions, and goals, and align our actions with them.
• Trying new things and getting out of our comfort zone. This can help us discover new aspects of ourselves, challenge our limiting beliefs, and grow as a person.
• Reflecting on our skills, strengths, and achievements. This can help us appreciate ourselves, recognize our potential, and leverage our talents.
• Journaling our experiences, thoughts, and feelings. This can help us process our emotions, gain insights, and express ourselves authentically.
• Talking with a life coach or a therapist. This can help us get professional guidance, support, and feedback, and strategize our next steps.
• Using mindsight to make sense of our past. This is a technique that allows us to see the internal workings of our own minds, and understand how our childhood experiences shaped us.
• Focusing on five domains of awareness: sensations, thoughts, emotions, actions, and mentalizing. This can help us expand and deepen our self-awareness, and connect with our inner wisdom.
• Meditating regularly. This can help us loosen the grip of negative emotions, calm our mind, and access our true self, which is pure consciousness.

These are some of the techniques that can be used to explore and find our true self. However, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and each person may find different methods more suitable for them. The key is to be curious, open-minded, and compassionate with ourselves along the way.

What are the benefits of finding and expressing our true-self?

Finding and expressing our true self is a process of self-discovery and self-acceptance that can have many benefits for our well-being and happiness. Some of the benefits are:

• We can live more authentically and align our actions with our values and goals. This can increase our sense of purpose and meaning in life, as well as reduce inner conflicts and cognitive dissonance.
• We can develop more self-confidence and self-esteem, as we learn to appreciate our strengths and accept our weaknesses. This can also help us overcome self-doubt and fear of rejection, and foster a positive self-image.
• We can strengthen our relationships with others, as we communicate more honestly and openly, and express our needs and boundaries more clearly. This can also enhance our empathy and understanding of others, as we respect their individuality and diversity.
  We can experience more joy and fulfilment, as we pursue our passions and interests, and express our creativity and uniqueness. This can also enrich our lives with more variety and excitement, as we explore new possibilities and opportunities.

In conclusion, finding and expressing our true self is a worthwhile endeavour that can benefit us in many ways. It can help us live more fully and freely, and enjoy more happiness and harmony.

Further reading

If you are interested in exploring the concept of true-self in more detail, here are some weblinks that might be helpful:

TrueSelf — Free Enneagram Test & Social Network: This website offers a free personality test based on the Enneagram system, as well as a platform to connect with other people who share your type and interests. You can learn more about your true self and how it relates to your motivations, strengths, and challenges.

The True Self | Psychology Today: This article by Art Markman, Ph.D., explains what it means to believe that there is a true self inside of everyone, and how this belief affects our judgments, actions, and relationships. It also discusses some of the psychological research on the characteristics and origins of the true self.

True self and false self – Wikipedia: This entry provides an overview of the psychological dualism of true self and false self, as conceptualized by English psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. It describes the features and development of both aspects of the self, and the implications for mental health and well-being.

How to Be Your True Self in a Society That Worships Fakeness – LonerWolf: This article by Mateo Sol and Aletheia Luna offers some practical tips and insights on how to be your true self in a society that values conformity and superficiality. It also explores some of the benefits and challenges of being authentic, as well as some of the signs that you are living from your true self.